Helpful Resources for Healing

I wanted to share some excellent resources for women who are walking on the painful journey to healing from the devistating effects of our husbands' or boyfriends' sexual and/or porn addictions. Although it's not a journey we asked to take, it is a road we've found ourselves on. I want you to know you're NOT alone. Regardless if your husband or boyfriend is seeking recovery at this time, be encouraged to know that YOU can walk towards healing & you don't have to do it alone...there's a countless number of women who are willing to walk along side you. 

If you need someone to talk to, you can always email me at: rescued_heart@yahoo.com


HELPFUL RESOURCES FOR WOMEN WHO NEED SUPPORT FOR THEIR HEALING JOURNEY:
Below is just a small list of some of the helpful resources available out there to help. Most resources below are faith-based, however some of the books posted below are secular (non-faith based) & don't necessarily reflect all of my views but are never-the-less resources that can be gleaned from. I hope you'll find these resources helpful to you. With MUCH love from a rescued heart <3

Helpful Websites:
http://www.journeytohealingandjoy.com/
http://www.hopeandfreedom.com/
http://www.holyhomes.org/
http://www.purelifeministries.org/
http://www.xxxchurch.com/
http://www.pornaddicthubby.com/
http://www.safepassagescounseling.com/
http://www.newhopelawrence.com/
http://www.lifemodel.org/
http://www.kclehman.com/
http://www.thinkconfidentbeconfident.com/
http://www.erinmerryn.hcibooks.com
http://www.mrap.org or http://www.ministyri.org (This ministry is for Missionary & Pastors & their families in crisis. I highly recommend)



Helpful Books on Healing from the trauma of living w/ a Sexual Addict:
Shattered Vows by Debra Laaser (I highly recommend)
Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken by Cindy Beall (I highly recommend)
I Surrender All by Clay & Renee Crosse (I highly recommend)
Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope & Heal by  & Barbara Steffens, Ph.D. Marsha Means, MA (I highly recommend)
Journey to Healing & Joy Workbook by Marsha Means, MA (I highly recommend)
Living With Your Husband's Secret Wars by Marsha Means, MA (I highly recommend)
An Affair of the Mind by Laurie Hall
Bringing The Life Model to Life: Living From The Heart Jesus Gave You (book & workbook) by Rick Koepcke, Ruth Ann Koepcke, Maribeth Poole, & E. James Wilder
(I highly recommend)


Helpful Educational Books on Understanding Sexual Addiction:
At the Alter of Sexual Idolatry by Steve Gallagher (I highly recommend)
Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker (I highly recommend)


Additional Helpful Books:
The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee (I highly recommend)
The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley (I highly recommend)
So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore (I highly recommend)
When Godly People Do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore (I highly recommend)
Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Think Confident, Be Confident for Teens by Marci G. Fox, Ph.D. & Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.
*NOTE: I know this book is written for teens but it was very helpful to me because it was written in a simple way...I just substituted teen senarios with adult ones. (I highly recommend)
You Are Very Special: A Biblical Guide to Self-Worth (book & workbook) by Verna Birkley (I highly recommend)
My Beautiful Broken Shell: Words of Hope to Refresh the Soul by Carol Hamblet Adams (I highly recommend)
The Velvateen Woman: Becoming Real Through God's Transforming Love by
Brenda Waggoner  (I highly recommend)

Other Helpful Information:
X3Watch is computer software program that protects your family from unwanted exposure to unsafe sites on the web.
Safe Eyes is a computer software program to protect your family from unwanted exposure to unsafe sites on the web.
Covenant Eyes is computer software program that protects your family from unwanted exposure to unsafe sites on the web.
http://www.hookersforjesus.net/ "Hookers for Jesus is faith based organization that addresses the realities of human sex trafficking, sexual violence, and exploitation linked to pornography and the sex industry"  ~ Annie Lobert. This ministry was founded by Annie Lobert, a former prostitute who has been forgiven & transformed by the saving power of God. I'm posting this because I think it helps to expose the lies of the porn industry & it helps tear down the lies we sometimes hear & believe about ourselves. 
http://www.thepinkcross.org/  "is a faith-based...public charity dedicated to....reaching out to the adult film industry offering education and resources to victims of sex trafficking and violence in the workplace. Pink Cross Foundation also reaches out to those struggling with pornography addiction offering education and large doses of truth to recover. Men and women addicted to porn need to hear it straight from the women who were there." This ministry was founded by Shelly Lubben, an ex-porn star who's radically been saved & transformed by God. She has an incredible testimony! Again, I think exposing the truth about the porn industry is SO important & hearing about it also helps in our healing.

Helpful Resources for Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse:
The Wounded Heart: Hope For Adult Victums of Childhood Sexual Abuse by
Dr. Dan B. Allender (I highly recommend)
Door of Hope: Recognizing & Resolving The Pains of Your Past by Jan Frank (I highly recommend)
Stolen Innocence Memoir by Erin Merryn (I highly recommend)
Healing from the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: The Journey For Women by Karen A. Duncan
The Courage to Heal Worbook by Laura Davis
The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis

I Wonder When

I'm pretty sure what I'm feeling is perfectly normal considering the effects of pornography on a relationship. Today...I am wondering, When will I ever feel pretty again? Will I ever stop questioning if my husband truly finds ME beautiful? Is he REALLY attracted to ME? Am I even pretty at ALL? I remember a time when I didn't feel AS self-concious or unsure and I wish I could find that place again...only this time, I want to emerge from this trial with a confidence I've never known. Don't get me wrong, I've always struggled with my self-esteem...that insecurity entered my life as a little girl due to sexual abuse. That can leave any girl questioning her value. Growing up, I can remember thinking I just wanted to be pretty like other girls. I always felt a little less than and battling with weight issues didn't help matters either. So now I sit here, 40 years old & 21 years a married woman, and still questioning my beauty and my worth on some days. So what's a girl to do? Within EVERY little girl & within EVERY woman, is the desire to be found beautiful. Every woman, every little girl asks herself the question, Am I beautiful? We're almost born with it. From the time we draw our first breath & before we even have the compacity to think about what beauty is, we're dressed in cute little dresses & dolled up from head to toe. We're doted on & often told what pretty little girls we are. Curls & ribbons, lace & frills. Wanting to be the princess, the prettiest girl in the room. And as we grow, we watch to see what people think of us. I think the desire to be found beautiful is a desire God put within us, however, I think He wants to be the One to answer that question for each of us. When we let God determine what beautiful is & when we allow Him to tell us what is beautiful about ourselves, it becomes an un-shakable confidence that can keep us through the questions, through heart-break, through the aging process, & even through childhood trauma. So today, I will take my questions to God & I will let Him remind me that He has made me beautiful in His sight & I will allow His opinion of me to bring healing to my heart. And eventually, He WILL settle the, Am I beautiful? question in me, once & for all.